Two Little Letters

NO!

Your boss wants you to work late, your kids want help with their school project, you’ve been invited to a party or function you don’t even want to go to, you’ve been asked to be on a committee, to help at the school fete and the list goes on.
So do you say yes and be the model employee, partner, parent, friend or do you draw the line and do what’s best for you.

Saying NO these days seems harder and harder to do. And there are times when saying yes seems the easiest way out.

Why are two little letters so hard to say? What is it that makes us say yes when we really don’t want to?

The increased responsibilities and demands of life, the pressure to please people and be everything to everyone.
Not wanting to appear selfish.
The need to be liked and popular.
The need to be needed.
The lack of courage, confidence and fortitude.
The lack of self-worth.
Not listening to our body and overriding what we feel.

I remember growing up, how I’d always do everything and anything for everyone. Good old Rachel just ask her she’ll do it for you. Most the time I didn’t mind, I’m a naturally generous person but I found the more I said yes to others the more I had to say no to me and you know what that just didn’t feel right so I learnt to say no.
Not out of selfishness or a lack of care but in a considered way, especially if a yes would be at my expense or if it meant the other person missed the opportunity to learn something about themselves if I pandered to their needs.

But where does nice end and being a pushover begin?

The most obvious sign ~ Saying yes makes you feel bad.

Read your body and listen to it. You say yes and then you feel your stomach drop or your heart race, or you get anxious and wonder how you’ll ever get it done. You say yes then feel resentful or irritated. These are signs you really wanted to say no but said yes because you felt you had to and not because you felt to.

Avoid the quick ‘yes’ you don’t mean ~ stop, take a moment, breathe, and ask yourself; Do I have time for this? Do this feel right for me? Why would I be saying yes, is there a need or an attachment to the outcome?

Saying no is a learned skill ~ just practice saying it, honestly, from the signals your body is sending.

Skip the excuses. Be true to yourself and all others.

Start by saying the no part.
It is very empowering to lead with No. You’ve taken a stand, stick to your guns.

It can be done gently and politely. If you say no honestly the other person hears it and feels it too.

The more you get comfortable with saying no, the more you get to know when and how to make the most of this powerful two-letter word.

There are times when NO is the most healing, empowering and loving word to say.

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Author: Dr Rachel Hall

The Holistic Dentist who Loves Humanity. Life is about people, connection, love and equality. People are suffering and have forgotten they are naturally amazing. By living in a way that is more self-loving, gentle and truthful we can reawaken our capacity for grandness.

5 thoughts on “Two Little Letters”

  1. This is a brilliant topic to write about, as so many people are running themselves into the ground because they have taken on too much. You sure have presented some great signposts to recognise if your body is saying NO, Rachel. Thanks.

  2. I can certainly relate to all you have written, Rachel. My experience was that the more I said yes the more I was asked to do and the more I did the less respected I felt! (Boy, did my gall bladder suffer!!) All those beliefs that I grew up with and the role model of a very dear mother that did everything for others, “showing” her love instead of “being” love – first to herself and then to those around her. I was “polite” to the extreme. It really has been only in the last three years that I have embraced that two letter word and without guilt lovingly used it! The more we practice saying “no”, the easier it becomes and we grow deeper in honouring ourselves …. so liberating …. I am delighted that I have arrested the “yes” before resentment and bitterness became so ingrained in my body that it turned people away.

  3. love it Rachel, thank you. Saying no is one of our best friends for self care and self nurture. One of the other reasons I didn’t used to say no was that it was against the grain, not normal, people just didn’t say no… it took me a while to give myself permission to say ‘no’ and once I did, boy oh boy did I start to feel more me, and more confident.

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