Since my last blog I have considered the benefits of self-love that I have gained and become aware of since I have been actively more caring of myself. I felt to share them with you.
Living self-lovingly has allowed me to trust myself and listen to my feelings more. When I take time to listen to my inner voice and my heart I release I have a deep inbuilt knowing and self guidance system that can be relied on and trusted in everyday life.
As I come to know me better I can connect to myself and find that place that allows me to trust what I know. The more I take time to listen and go with my feelings the louder the communication is. This gives me sense of relief, confidence and the ability to relax knowing that I know me better than anyone else and that I can rely on myself in any situation.
I can say NO without feeling bad or guilty about it – saying no to others is a yes to me. I no longer see people, do things or go to events if I don’t feel like it. It’s not about being harsh or letting people down by changing my mind at the last-minute but about prioritising and not over committing myself. It’s about being realistic about how much I can take on and deal with at the time. It’s about assessing where I am at physically and emotionally and putting those needs first. I find this way I can do things more joyfully and be more present when I am with people as I’m not feeling obligated, resentful or distracted by other pressures or desires.
I am more discerning of my friendships and relationships. As I have learnt to take responsibility for my life and my own needs, certain friendships have fallen away naturally. I noticed these friendships were often unhealthy, very co-dependant or built on foundations of mutual likes and not on really knowing the other person openly and intimately.
If a relationship is willing to evolve and grow deeper then so the friendship has blossomed and become healthier. This has been tricky at times, with people who have seen me become more of who I am, only wanting the old friend who used to feed and fuel their neediness and them mine at the time.
As I have developed a more self-loving approach to me this is reflected in my relationships and the people around me.
I am more mindful of how I am with myself. I am increasingly conscious of my self talk, my moods, how I am with my body – whether I push too hard, take on too much or am rough with myself physically or verbally. I am able to be aware of when I am overly self-critical or even self bashing and can catch it before it escalates, stop and assess why I am being so hard on myself. This way I am less negative, more honest and appreciative of myself and in return of others. On top of this I feel healthier, happier, more confident and more me than ever before.
A relationship is NOT the answer to my insecurities. So often we seek validation of self-worth and level of attractiveness through relationships. It’s crazy to believe that if a person doesn’t like me, there must be something wrong with me. I no longer allow others judgements or feelings about me to be my barometer that measures my self-worth. My self-worth comes from me knowing that I am love and loving myself unconditionally to the best of my ability.
I have stopped valuing everyone’s opinion more than my own. I am no longer confused, seeking others opinions and going around in circles self-doubting and second guessing myself. Being more loving has allowed me to do what feels right for me. We all need support and help from others, that is healthy – but it is not healthy when we start to become dependent on others advice at the expense of our own inner voice. By allowing myself a moment, 5 minutes of silence to close my eyes, breathe gently, connect to myself and sink into my body, the answers I was looking for come – because they were there the whole time.
I love my own company. I have learnt to value time to myself and relish the quiet moments where I can meditate, snooze, read, go for a walk or soak in the bath. These moments are where magic lies waiting for me, surprising me with sparks of inspiration, where my loving ways love me back.
Give yourself this gift. The gift of learning to love yourself and who knows what is lying inside of you for you to discover….?